The soundtrack of our lives
by potterbite
Summary: Stiles has had a crush on Derek for the past six years but they're friends and it's not like Derek would care for Stiles, but then suddenly Derek is cursed so he can hear everyone's thoughts. Stiles has a brilliant idea on how to be near Derek without him finding out what really goes through Stiles mind. [Canon verse, all alive except Derek's family.]


**A/N: This is unedited, but I want to post it tonight before I go to bed. I'll edit tomorrow, and if anyone finds a mistake/confusing part, please feel free to tell me!**

* * *

Stiles really thought he had it under control – he was 100 % sure it was kept at bay. But then Derek had to go and take of his shirt, and Stiles had almost managed to forget how he looked underneath the fabric of his clothes, how his muscles were illegally shaped or how when he breathed they all tensed as if every breath hurt way more than it should. Well, he had _almost_ forgotten anyway – he'd tried.

So as soon as Derek removed his t-shirt, Stiles made an involuntary noise that made everyone turn and look as him. He grinned back to them, showing them by a wave of his hand it was nothing.

They were all at Derek's loft, him being hit by some sort of spell by Beacon Hill's newest villain that had formed a mark on his back, not far from his triskele tattoo. The problem was that no one could figure out what the hell that spell had done and since it had been three days they were all starting to freak out.

It was when Lydia lifted her hand to touch the mark and Derek quickly moved away that she got her thinking face on and put two and two together.

"I read about this," Lydia began, meeting Derek's eyes as he lifted his shirt from the floor and put it back on, to Stiles horror. Lydia stared at Derek without saying anything and Derek winced. "Well, should you tell them or should I?" she wondered smugly.

Derek brooded, like he always did, and Lydia sighed.

"Derek can hear everyone's thoughts." It was only Erica that didn't gasp in horror, which was probably because she always said what she thought out loud anyway and therefore had nothing to be ashamed of. "I'm guessing it gets worse if we touch him."

Through gritted teeth, Derek said, "You could say that."

"What happens if we touch you?" Stiles wondered, racking his brain trying to figure it out. "Or should I come over there and touch you and see what happens?"  
"No!" Derek practically screamed, moving away a few steps from everyone. "Yes, I can hear everyone's thought right now and no, I'm not sorry for not telling you so stop being mad or annoyed with me." He touched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and index finger. "When someone touches me – I relive that person's worst memory." He frowned. "Or at least that's what I think happens, but it's just an elaborate guess."

Stiles mouth hung open stupidly since he was slightly (meaning he wished he could run away and never come back) embarrassed because he practically always thought about the same thing when Derek was around and it wasn't exactly about his excellent cooking – more like his excellent butt. _CRAP_, Stiles cursed inside his head when his thoughts started to wander in the same old direction. For three days Derek had been able to hear Stiles thoughts, and Stiles tried to think if he'd thought anything embarrassing, but he only kept picturing Derek's butt.

To his relief, Derek seemed to fight a smile.

"So what do we do?" Allison wondered, a light frown on her face.

"For starters, I vote not to kill me," Derek snarled and threw a bitter look at Allison.

"It wasn't a suggestion!" she defended herself, crossing her arms over her chest. "Stop listening in."

"I would if I could!"

"Okay, okay everyone chill out!" Stiles chimed in when he saw Derek gripping the back of the sofa hard, as if to restrain himself from turning. "Lydia, where did you read about this?"

"How is that important right now?" she wondered, looking at him like he was an idiot.

"It would be useful so we can go back to see how to get rid of this."

"You are so stupid sometimes, Stiles. I love you, but you think so little of me." He huffed indignantly at her, but stayed quiet as she continued to speak. "As if I would only read about the symptoms but not the cure."

"So what can we do?" Isaac asked, scratching the back of his head.

"There's only two solutions. We find the witch and ask her politely to reverse it."

"And the other one?" Stiles wondered, and he didn't miss the pause Lydia did as she exchanged a look with Derek before replying.

"Um – I can't remember. We need to search through books for that one, so it would be easier to go straight to the witch." The room filled with tired groans.

"How are we supposed to find her? It's not like we can just go out in the woods and search until we stumble upon her summoning site," Jackson spat a little too harsh and Lydia fixed her eyes on him – he visibly shrunk. "Sorry."

"Easy. Since she only has interest in humans, Stiles calls her."

"Hey, hey, wait a minute. Why do I get to be the bait?" Stiles asked. "I'm not the only human here."

"True, but Allison might be needed for her archery and I'm not fully human and Kira might be needed for close combat in case it gets ugly. The rest are werewolves." She shrugged, as if it was just that simple.

"I can fight," Stiles said grumpily, to which everyone started laughing. Stiles was about to argue his case when he noticed Derek was grinning too; he reluctantly agreed, and fought a smile himself.

* * *

"What if this doesn't work?" Stiles asked nervously, fingers fidgeting and unable to stand still.

"We're right behind you, relax," Scott assured him with a pat on the back that managed to calm him a bit.

"If I die, I need everyone to know – "

"Now's not the time for love declarations, Stilinski," Jackson intervened with a sigh.

" – that I took way too many Adderall earlier," Stiles finished as if Jackson hadn't interrupted, only shooting him a dirty look. "You know, in case the people at the morgue thinks its drugs. That would just _kill_ my dad, and if I'm dying I really don't need him to die too because who would take care of Batman all alone in my apartment?"

Derek growled. "Stiles, if you die we will take care of your stupid cat but if you don't summon her ass over here right now, I'm going to be the one to kill you."

"Okay, jeez. Don't overuse your maximum daily dose of words on me."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You're not exactly Mr. Chatty, Derek."

"That's just because nobody ever gets to speak when you're around, Stiles."

"Hey, I don't talk that much."

Derek glared at him. "You talk all the time, even in your sleep. Last summer when we went camping you told an entire story for four hours straight, fully asleep."

"Like you didn't enjoy my version of Cinderella."

"Boyd had to sit on you to shut you up."

"I'll have you know – "

"_Stiles_," Lydia said, a warning in her voice. "Just call the damn witch already."

And so he did, because he knew better than to mess with Lydia. Besides, he could bicker with Derek all night unless someone told him to stop – it was one of the best and funniest things he knew.

* * *

"Why would I want to do that? I put a lot of effort into it," the witch explained once she got there and Stiles asked as politely as he could that she'd reverse the curse. "Besides, I was doing him a favor."

"How'd you figure it was a favor to always have to listen to everyone's thoughts?" Stiles had goose bumps since all warmth had disappeared once the witch showed up but he wasn't afraid; he knew that everyone would come running at any sign of hostility from her.

"He was thinking about how he wondered what he thought."

Confused, Stiles frowned, scratching his forehead. "Derek was thinking about what he himself was thinking about?"

She sighed, small sparks emanating from her finger tops as the air left her lungs. "No, you moron. About what _he_ was thinking about."

"Who's he?"

"How should I know?" She shrugged before she got a curious look on her face. "You may convince me to reverse the curse after all."

Excited, he took a small, unintentional, step forward. "How?"

"I'll do it if I can take you with me. You're delicious."

"Are you a cannibal too?" he asked her, unable to hide the sarcasm in his voice.

"He's not interested," Derek said suddenly from right behind Stiles, who made a startled noise as Derek grabbed his arm dragged him away. The laugh that came from the witch was colder than the air around them.

An hour later, they were all back at the loft trying to find another solution to releasing Derek from his curse.

"Hey Derek," Stiles said; Derek grunted which Stiles knew meant he was listening. "Who was it that you wanted to listen – "

"Not important," he replied before Stiles even got to say it all. "Google more, question less."

* * *

The first thing Stiles heard as he came closer to the loft the next day was Derek's raised voice. "I can't control it"

"Bullshit!" Scott replied just as forcefully. Stiles figured it would be wise to enter _before _they started to rip each other's throat out since they'd been doing so well for the past few months after Derek got his alpha status back and Scott had been reverted back to a beta, so he opened the big metal door.

Inside, Derek and Scott stood on opposite ends of the living room, both wearing pained expressions as they turned to face Stiles.

"What happened?"

"He," Scott began, pointing a big finger at Derek. "Listened in on my thoughts and asked about my Dad!"

"Is that all?" Stiles said, probably sounding a bit more relieved than he should have, but he had imagined something far worse than McCall family drama.

"_Is that all_? You know how I feel about that idiot!" Scott spat back.

Derek opened his mouth but Stiles held up a hand and thought as loud as he could, _He doesn't mean you're the idiot, he means his father_, and Derek stayed silent.

"Okay, buddy, I'm sorry but this issue really isn't that big on the priority list. Yes your Dad is a giant douche but right now I want you to leave." Scott gave him a shocked look. "Now," he added when it became apparent Scott was frozen in place. Slowly, Scott ambled away.

When he had closed the front door, Stiles let out a giant breath.

"Do you always lie like that to him?" Derek wondered quietly from the couch where he had sat down as Scott left.

"Do I – what do you mean?"

"You lied to him."

"Not true. I simply withheld information from him because I know it will hurt him and it's not my secret to tell. Melissa will tell him eventually and if she doesn't, his Dad probably will in a shitty letter or something." He shrugged and walked closer to Derek and was just about to ask whether they'd found something when Derek spoke.

"No, nothing yet."

"At least let me ask the question out loud before you answer it," Stiles complained and flung himself on the couch next to Derek in a gesture so natural he didn't think twice about it until he heard the whimper from Derek and by then it was already too late – his fingers touched Derek's arm and both of them flinched at what Derek was being shown since Stiles could see it too.

Stiles' mother getting the news she wouldn't get any better.

A crying child and a grieving father standing in front of a tomb stone with the name Claudia Stilinski written on it.

Scott and Derek close to dying at the hands of Peter.

Stiles, Allison and Scott sacrificing themselves to save their parents.

Stiles' Dad kidnapped.

Derek almost drowning.

Derek almost dying from a wolfsbane bullet.

Derek leaving Beacon Hills.

Just when Stiles thought it couldn't get any worse an image of a somewhat older Derek appeared and the older Derek kept repeating he had regrets, and an older version of Stiles tried to say something but couldn't get the words out so he watched helplessly as Derek jumped of a giant cliff with a promise never to return again.

When the memories – or maybe just fears, or maybe both – stopped coming, both Stiles and Derek let out a gasp of horror.

They stayed silent for almost twenty minutes; Derek was the first one to speak.

"That was… different," he said, not meeting Stiles' eyes.

"What happened before?"

"Well, since this curse happened I've only touched Peter and his worst memory was horrible so I've been avoiding it since."

Stiles flinched and focused all his energy to not think about anything in particular. "Sorry."

"No worries."

A silence fell between them and since neither of them wanted to talk about the giant pink elephant in the room that was Stiles' worst memories and fears, Stiles left the loft a few minutes later, humming the soundtrack to Star Wars in his mind. Derek didn't move.

* * *

The following day Stiles woke up with what felt like a giant stone in his stomach, making him anxious. Since he'd never been particular good with not talking about embarrassing things, he picked up his phone and texted Derek before he could get second thoughts.

Stiles: **hey big guy, any plans today?**

The reply came almost instantly, as if Derek had been holding his phone in his hand in the middle of texting Stiles. But that would be silly, Stiles thought. Sure, they were better friends now but they were also older and since Stiles only had a year left of college he'd say they'd grown not just in age but as people. Cheesy, but true.

Derek: **Never have. **

Stiles snickered, because he could practically hear the tone of Derek's voice as he read his text. Stiles may have had a kind of unhealthy unreciprocated affection for one of his closest friends and had had these feelings since before he graduated high school which was why he knew every single mood and facial expression Derek wore. Not that Derek knew about those feelings. And preferably it would stay that way, if Stiles could keep yesterday's events from repeating itself to reveal even more secrets he had.

He'd had nightmares about the exact vision Derek had seen the day before, which was why Stiles knew it was one of his worst fear; that Stiles wouldn't be able to be there for Derek and that Derek never felt good enough, so he left. (His other worst fears was his father dying because of Stiles, or that Scott died because Stiles couldn't figure out who was after them in time.)

Not that Derek had to know it was an actual fear. Stiles hoped that if he didn't bring it up, Derek might think he'd just seen random things and not worst fears in his life all put together in a wonderful matinée.

But no matter what, Stiles didn't like to think of Derek all alone in his loft, trying not to hear his neighbor's thoughts, so he had practiced last night before he went to bed on how to keep his thoughts solely focused on different theme songs. He had actually gotten rather good at it and was confident he could keep it up. Okay, half confident, half scared shitless it wouldn't work.

Stiles: **coming over in a bit to help research!**

He sent his reply and put a bunch of books he'd found lying around in his father's house – for no apparent reason other than the Sheriff used them as either research material or for a bit of light reading – the day before in his backpack; he'd gone straight to his father for dinner after the catastrophic event with Derek.

He took a quick shower – practicing for seeing Derek by only singing teenage mutant ninja turtles in his mind, which was saying something since he preferred other activities while showering but he couldn't jack off with thoughts of Derek and then go right over and see him and not think about what he'd just done in the shower so he was left with teenage mutant ninja turtles.

He was just chewing up his last piece of toast when his phone beeped.

Derek: **Why?**

Stiles laughed and didn't bother with an answer to such a stupid question; if Derek didn't want him there it just made Stiles want to be there even more.

* * *

"What the hell is going on with your thoughts?" Derek asked after they'd been researching for a few hours, without any success to both their frustration.

Stiles, who thought it was okay to have the sailor moon theme humming inside his mind, looked up from the book he was reading – the first of five he'd found about witches.

"Precautions. I can't have you listening in on my thoughts whenever I'm around you because that's an invasion of my privacy, a privacy I'd like to keep just as much as our friendship but if you hear what I'm thinking – "

"I already did for like five days."

"_Five_?" Stiles said, horrified. "You told us it had been three – "

"Yes, but then there were the whole day of the witch, and then yesterday." They both flinched at the vivid memory. "Anyway, what secret thoughts can you have? It all seemed pretty harmless to me."

_HA!_ Stiles thought before he could stop himself. Derek frowned but didn't press any further on the subject, so Stiles went on with the theme from Gummi bears.

"Seriously though, what kind of shows do you watch?" Derek wondered with a grin.

"All fond childhood shows. I'm not ashamed," he grinned back.

"You should be."

"Not everyone is as old as you are, dude."

With a laugh, Derek elbowed Stiles in his ribs lightly and they continued to lightly bicker, discuss, laugh and talk all through the afternoon; Stiles stayed until it was dark outside and the rest of the gang returned from their trip. (Erica, Boyd, Scott and Isaac had driven to a medicine man in hopes that he'd be able to reverse the curse, while Allison, Kira, Lydia and Jackson had gone to see a witch doctor a few hours' drive up north.)

"Any luck?" Derek wondered hopefully as they came through the door, but when he heard what everyone was thinking he just shook his head and went back to looking through his book – another one about witches.

"I need to get going if I plan to get enough sleep to pass my exam this side of eternity," Stiles said with a yawn. "Anyone want a ride?"

Scott, Kira and Allison gladly accepted while Lydia was going with Jackson. In the silence that fell when Isaac, Erica or Boyd didn't dare to say anything Derek took a deep breath.

"It's ok, go. I haven't been able to sleep the past days with all your lovesickness so close anyway."

They had practically moved in with Derek in the last few years, even though Isaac did spend quite some time at Allison's, but Derek probably hadn't been alone more than one night in a row for at least five years. It made Stiles chest ache a little bit to think about it.

"We're not that lovesick," Boyd tried, bless his soul.

Derek snorted – actually snorted – and everyone listened as he started ticking everyone off his fingers. "Erica is thinking of how much longer she has to wait until she can fuck you up against a wall," he began and Stiles choked on a popcorn. "You're thinking of hearts and her naked body, Isaac is dying to hold Allison, Kira wonders if she should top tonight, Scott wishes to be alone with Kira so he can tell her he loves her some more, and well I'm not even going to say out loud what Lydia and Jackson are thinking about. I'm just impressed you're not going at it on my floor right now. And grateful."

"Jesus, it's like you're all horny teenagers!" Stiles complained.

"Dude, we're only in our early twenties for so long. Need to take advantage of the merchandise while it's still does the job," Jackson smirked. "It's not like you're not thinking about something like that, just because Derek's nice to you doesn't mean I don't see – "

"No, actually. Currently he's singing Sound of Music in his mind. It's soothing," Derek interrupted.

Sound of music had been a last resort at the moment, the only song in the world that occurred to him as he desperately tried not to think about fucking Derek against a door, or hugging him, or being on top, or telling him he loved him. Mildly put, Stiles was seconds away from either sporting an embarrassing erection or reveal his thoughts to Derek. Neither appealed to him, so he began dragging everyone out of the loft, giving Derek a soft smile before closing the door, which Derek returned easily.

And if Stiles heart skipped a beat at that, well so be it.

* * *

After that day, Stiles made a habit to stop by the loft after his classes were finished for the day simply because he hated the idea of Derek isolating himself from everyone; Boyd and Erica had taken up residence with Scott and Kira for the time being, while Isaac slept with Allison in her apartment. Stiles, well he slept alone in his place but spent very little time there except to sleep and since the others didn't want to be around Derek too much while he had the ability to hear their thoughts – and the feeling was mutual since Derek seemed mostly relieved they didn't pop by as often – Stiles figured he might as well hang out with Derek while they searched for a cure. Everyone else was on strict duty to do the same, and even though Jackson denied it he probably tried hardest of them all; Stiles knew that underneath his asshole surface was a smaller asshole that actually loved his friends very much.

* * *

One day when Stiles was at the loft, he and Derek didn't exchange a single word for five hours. It wasn't until Stiles got home that he realized it; he had actually enjoyed himself being quiet for the first time in his life probably. He was crossing the border over to dangerous territory hanging out with Derek so much, but he didn't care – he figured he might as well enjoy it while it lasted.

* * *

It had been a week since they had talked to the witch when Lydia sighed loudly and put down her laptop, apparently giving up her search.

"I need to tell you guys something."

Derek snapped his head up. "It's a ridiculous solution."

"At least it's a solution," Lydia threw back just as quickly.

"What?!" Stiles shrieked, to his embarrassment. "There is another way to end this madness that you didn't share with the rest of us because it's_ ridiculous_?"

"Well, I didn't want to say anything because it's incredibly cheesy. If he gets a kiss from his love, the curse breaks," Lydia explained.

Derek grunted. "This just puts us at another dead end since I have no love."

"You'll always have me," Boyd said affectionately.

"I'll let you borrow him on Wednesdays and every other Sunday if you're nice," Erica added. "But he might be a bit much for you in bed." She wiggled her eyebrows at Derek.

"And I'm always available for you," Isaac chimed in with a grin. Scott laughed along with the girls, while Derek rolled his eyes at his friends.

Stiles stomach fluttered still thinking about the love and kiss part, before he stood up and put his hands up in the air for everyone to stop talking. "Hold on, are you telling me a kiss from a true love or whatever is actually a legitimate cure for a curse?" He pictured Derek as Snow White, while a prince woke him from his spell by a kiss. Derek snorted at Stiles' imagination and Stiles quickly began humming the theme from The Mask.

Seemingly offended, she placed her hands on her waist. "Haven't you ever read Snow White? Sleeping Beauty? Everyone knows a kiss from your one true love can break any spell."

Stiles couldn't help it, so he laughed. "I agree with Derek, it's ridiculous. And also kind of belongs in a children's fairy tale." Isaac raised his eyebrows. "Alright, werewolves are real and all that but given the cheese-factor of the kiss, and that it has never been seen, unlike werewolves that I have actually seen with my own eyes – "

"Oh my God!" Lydia sighed, and Derek grinned. Not that Stiles heart skipped a few beats at the sight of that or anything. "Derek, kiss him and make him shut the hell up!"

"Say what now?" Stiles had, as per usual, no idea what she was talking about with her brain always being five steps ahead of everyone else's. He went over to stand in front of her in order to examine her properly, to make sure she wasn't ill or something as she betrayed one of her closest friend's deepest and darkest secrets. He'd just said he was interested once while he was drunk over a year ago. Or maybe she'd gotten into his journal. Not that he wrote a journal or anything.

"Why should I kiss him?" Derek asked, interrupting Stiles inner monologue with confusion written on his face as if he had missed a vital part of a joke. The fact that he could both hear it on Lydia's heartbeat that she probably wasn't lying and that he could hear her thoughts didn't seem to lessen his confusion.

Stiles, to his great embarrassment, couldn't stop imagining kissing Derek and the events that would follow if he got to have his way with the wolf – even Stiles with his small human hearing could hear Derek gritting his teeth together as he spoke.

"Stiles."

"I'm sorry, I'm only human!" Erica grinned widely at Stiles' response because it's not like not everyone there knew exactly what was going through his mind.

He started to wonder what it would feel like to gently bite at Derek's lip as he ran his hands over the ridiculously muscular chest –

"_Stiles_," Derek breathed out in a plea for Stiles to stop thinking about what he was thinking, and he tried, he really did his best to try humming the Pokémon theme song, but then Derek looked up to meet his eyes and his brain went crazier than normal.

Maybe if he got to be alone with the sour wolf he could show him how much he lov –

Stiles squeaked when he realized where his thoughts were going and started to chant all the hymns he knew from going to church as a child – which was only about two, but it did the trick.

"Okay, everyone OUT!" Derek demanded and caught the back of Stiles' shirt in his hand as Stiles walked past him. "Not you."

Stiles let out a whimpering sound in the hopes that one of his friends would save him, but they all just gave him a wide smile as they left the apartment. Then he and Derek were alone.

"What were you about to think before you managed to stop yourself?" was the first thing Derek asked. Well of course that would be the first thing, Stiles thought. He would've asked himself that same question. Not that he had a reasonable answer to it.

"I manage to stop myself from loads of things actually." _Do not panic_, he thought. _You've been alone with Derek so many times, no reason for this to be any different just because he might know that you lov_ –

He let out another humiliating noise and began singing the alphabet song, since his brain had decided this was the best moment to abandon him.

"You just did it again, Stiles."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He fiddled with the zipper of his hoodie and kept his eyes everywhere but on Derek.

"I think I know but it seems kind of unbelievable and I do understand you for trying to push it aside, I would too. I mean, it's me, I'm not like a great choice or anything." Derek chuckled emptily at a non-existing joke, while Stiles stared with a wide-open mouth.

"Excuse me?"

Derek groaned. "Don't make me repeat it. It's just, this is how it is and if you're on the same page that's great, otherwise we'll just pretend this has never happened. Ever."

"I'm sorry but I'm having trouble understanding what page we're supposed to be on." _Because I've been on the love page forever_, he accidentally thought and put a hand over his mouth.

Derek grinned. "You do realize the only reason I'm in this mess is because a witch overheard me thinking about you, wishing desperately to know what you were thinking about me?"

The only thing Stiles heard was the first few words, because after that he could only focus on how Derek seemed to come closer – seemed to move his lips towards Stiles' – seemed to press them gently together – seemed to wait for Stiles to respond properly – and how was he supposed to do that without a fully functional brain?

But he did his best as soon as he understood that what was happening wasn't a dream, and he held on to Derek as if his life depended on it, as if the world might end unless their lips were allowed to be surged against each other forever. When he bit gently in Derek's lower lip, just to feel the sensation of it, Derek let out a quiet moan and something blasted out from Derek's chest, making them both fall backwards; Stiles landed on the couch while Derek had the bad luck to land on the floor with a loud thump.

"Oh, are you okay Derek?" Stiles wondered, trying to get up from the couch. As he did, his eyes fell on Derek, whose shirt had risen and revealed the lower part of his glorious abs and Stiles couldn't help himself as he licked his lips as he reached out a hand to help Derek up.

"I'm fine," he replied and accepted Stiles' hand. "Wait, did you just think something?"

"Um, yes." A moment passed, until Stiles understood. "Oh my god you can't hear what I'm thinking?!"

"No!" he laughed, and threw his arms around Stiles.

"Guess that means you're stuck with me, dude," Stiles grinned back.

"Happy to."

They drew apart enough to lock eyes, and were mere inches from another kiss when –

"Did it work?" came Lydia's muffled voice from the other side of the door.

"Go away!" Stiles replied, and gave Derek a quick kiss before whispering against his lips, "If we're quiet long enough she'll get bored and leave."  
"You do realize half of us are werewolves and can hear you?" Scott wondered, and opened the door with a laugh – the entire gang came running inside as if it had been ages since they'd last seen Stiles and Derek, as opposed to ten minutes.

Over the sound of their joyful friends, Stiles met Derek's eyes and thought, _tonight, tomorrow, forever _and knew Derek didn't have to be a mind reader to hear it. And then Stiles started humming the theme from My little pony.


End file.
